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Will my partner change?

Many women ask this question because sometimes the relationship isn’t bad all the time and they hope that their partner can stop being abusive at other times.

  • In theory it’s possible for abusive people to change their behaviour but because they need to take full responsibility for the abuse first and not look for other reasons to justify it, they will need a lot of commitment to try and change.  This doesn’t happen very often.  
  • If your partner has promised you before that he will change but resumes the abuse then it is unlikely that he has really made the decision to change. Often the opposite happens in an abusive relationship – the abusive behaviour gets worse over time and increases in frequency and severity.  
  • If your partner is ready to change then he can ask his GP for help or look for a local service that deals with men who are abusive and controlling to their partners.

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