Safety Planning
Safety planning helps develop tools in advance of potentially dangerous situations.
Choose only the suggestions listed here that make sense for your set of circumstances.
Not a bathroom (near hard surfaces), kitchen (knives), or near weapons. Call the closest Garda station, a friend or a neighbour, if possible. Inform them if there are weapons in the home. Practice how to get out of your home safely. Visualize your escape route. Keep it hidden in a handy place in order to leave quickly, or leave the bag elsewhere if your abuser searches your home. Tell your children, grandchildren or neighbours so you can communicate to them that you need the police. Plan where you will go if you have to leave home, even if you don't think you'll need to. Know where the closest refuge is, and have their phone number in your phone. Consider anything that you feel will keep you safe and give you time to figure out what to do next. Sometimes it is best to flee, sometimes to placate the abuser - anything that works to protect yourself and the children. If you can not avoid being assaulted to protect your head and internal organs it is best to curl up into a ball and protect your head with your hands. Make sure it is a place that can protect you and your children or grandchildren. Find out which services and shelters are available as options if you need them. Keep their address and phone number close at hand at all times. Leave money, extra keys, copies of important documents and clothing with them in advance, so you can leave quickly, if necessary. Put it in your name only, to increase your independence. Consider direct deposit from your paycheck or benefit check. Study and check your plans as often as possible in order to know the safest way to leave your abuser. Change the locks on doors and windows as soon as possible. Consider a security service, window bars, better lighting, smoke detectors and fire extinguishers. Teach your children or grandchildren how to call the police or someone they can trust. Have a secret code word that you and your children agree on - to communicate trouble and for the people who are allowed to pick the children up. Screen your calls if you have an answering machine or caller ID. Save all messages with threats or that violate any orders. Contact your local phone company about getting an unpublished number. Inform them that your abuser no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see the abuser near your home. Find a lawyer knowledgeable about domestic violence to explore orders, custody, access, maintenance that protect you and the children. Your abuser may be mandated to a batterers' intervention program. Talk with the program to find out more about potential risks to you while your abuser participates. Additionally, contact your local domestic violence victim services program. Decide whom at work you will inform of your situation, especially if you have orders. This may include office security if available. It is your right to request and expect confidentiality from those you disclose to. Arrange to have someone screen and log your telephone calls if possible. Create a safety plan for when you enter and leave your work place. Have someone escort you to your vehicle or other transportation. If you and your abuser work at the same place, discuss with your supervisor your options regarding scheduling, safety precautions, employee/family benefits. Contact your local domestic violence victim services program to receive additional information about workplace safety. Try to get your abuser to one of the safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. Not a bathroom (near hard surfaces), kitchen (knives), or near weapons. Have important phone number nearby. Keep a list of important phone numbers close to hand including: Only keep a written safety plan if it is safe for you to do so. Women's Aid, your local refuge and domestic violence support service and the Gardaí can assist you as you plan your safety. Practice how to get out of your home safely. Visualize your escape route. If living in rural area, try to work out some code, like flashing on and off lights to attract attention. Have a packed bag ready with all your important documents. Such as passports, birth and marriage certificates, children’s allowance book, etc.+ you can add some clothes, and personal items for you and your children. Keep it hidden in a handy place in order to leave quickly, or leave the bag elsewhere if your abuser searches your home. Tell your children, grandchildren or neighbours to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to call the police. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help. Keep a journal of all violent incidents, noting dates, events, and threats made. Plan where you will go if you have to leave home, even if you don't think you'll need to. Know where the closest refuge is, and have their phone number in your phone + try to think how you would get there (maybe keep money aside for a taxi in case of emergency.) Consider anything that you feel will keep you safe and give you time to figure out what to do next. Sometimes it is best to flee, sometimes to placate the abuser - anything that works to protect yourself and the children. If you suspect things are going to blow up, get out of the house or away from him as soon as possible.
Safety during an explosive incident
Go to an area that has an exit.
Stay in a room with a phone.
Know your escape route.
Have a packed bag ready.
Devise a code word or signal.
Know where you're going.
Trust your judgment.
Curl your body into fetal position protecting your head with your hands.
Safety when preparing to leave
LEAVING CAN BE THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME!
Have a safe place to stay.
Call a domestic violence victim service program.
Find someone you trust.
Open a savings account.
Review your safety plan.
IF YOU NEED TO LEAVE, TAKE THESE WITH YOU. . .
Safety in your own home
Upgrade your security system.
Have a safety plan.
Change your phone number.
Talk to neighbours and landlord.
Get legal advice.
Safety on the job
Tell somebody.
Screen your calls.
Make a safety plan.
Safety when you are in an abusive relationship
If you feel abuse is going to happen, avoid area without exit.
For you and your children. Numbers to have are the closest Garda station, friends or a neighbour, the refuge. Put these numbers on speed dial on your mobile phone.What are the important phone numbers to remember?
Know your escape route.
Open a bank account
Tell someone you trust about the abuse.
Know where you're going.
Trust your judgment, your instinct.
Abusers try to control their victim’s lives. When abusers feel a loss of control – like when victims try to leave them – the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.